What a month!

The longest month of the year has officially ended YAY! Officially we know there are 31 days but, oh my word, do they feel longer. Especially when you are crawling towards payday. And if I am honest, this January has felt more like the world has gone “it’s 2020! let’s get this year really started.”

In a nutshell we have seen: the impeachment of an American President, the finalisation of Brexit, key royals give up their position, the spread of the corona virus and last but not least the raging fires of Australia.  Much can be said on each of these different circumstances and much has been said; there are other things taking place across the globe that add to the sense of destabilisation.

Personally, I have already attended a funeral, had my son admitted into hospital after a very scary moment and emotional wounds that have opened up from the past, struggles at work and the amassing weight of guilt that I am not balancing work and family and life well. Like I said, what a month!

85098383_179618133301734_8693611361608925184_nHowever, just when I was feeling really low (as in real crappy), I opened my fancy new diary and there is a section at the back of the month that helps you to reflect on the month just gone.  Starting with my favourite memories I began to fill it in and almost instantly I started to feel better, thinking of the positive memories that have been created.

For example:

  1. Celebrating my partner’s 30th birthday with our family.
  2. Watching the boys learn how to ride their bikes they got for Christmas.
  3. Being asked to help on the Alpha course that is being run by my church.
  4. Getting steadily better in my driving lessons.
  5. Remembering the New Year’s party we had at our friend’s house and that feeling of being refreshed and looking forward to the new year.

The next section was really helpful to me to reflect on it this up and down month. It was a release to acknowledge that yes it was tough and it was certainly not how I thought this month would go, but it was key for me to realise that Jesus was with me through it all. The highs AND the lows. There have been a few moments where I have literally prayed for help to get through and for him to hold me together because I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. Now that I am on the other side of January, I am thankful that He has done just that. What I also wrote was “to know, believe and trust that I am loved by God.” How often do we forget that the maker of the entire universe loves us dearly? Especially when we look at the world around us, we see only the brutal horrible things that take up our focus or the hard circumstances we find ourselves in. It’s easy to forget all the good things that have taken place and all the special memories that have been created. Personally as well as, nationally and internationally.

This verse from psalm 13 helped to reorder my thoughts and emotions:

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

I am thankful that January is over but I am more thankful that Jesus is truly my and our rock and that no matter,  we can face tomorrow.

Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

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