Testimony.

As you may already know, I have moved to Hastings recently. I have now joined a church and I am also in a new house group. I have been asked to give my testimony to the group in the next get together.

When I was asked, I have to admit that my heart did a sunk a little. I immediately felt nervous because I am not great at talking about myself, especially about feelings and the like. I find it hard to reveal that part of myself, the vulnerabilities, the mistakes or even showing others my heart.

However, testimony is not just about me, I play only a small part. It’s about the God who loved me even when I walked away from him. It’s about the open arms of Jesus who welcomed me home even when I did not deserve it. My testimony is wrapped up in the story of the Prodigal son. Every time I read it, hear it or even think about it, fresh tears of gratitude come to my eyes. For me, it perfectly encompasses my journey and the sweet homecoming I felt when I when I walked back into church for the first time in many years. My heart spoke, “I’m home.”

I knew deep down that I had wondered too far and that even when I went through depression, broken relationships, two abortions and found myself in the darkest part of the night, God reminded me that He was still with me.

My testimony is a of a God who knows and loves me. That he lives and sees me. That he has lifted me up, taken my hand and led me on. That Jesus has taken me, a broken person and piece by piece put me back together again. He has restored relationships and has transformed my life. Even now, with the memories of the past and the deep emotional scars that took place as a child, God keeps reminding me that I am in his hands and even they can be used for his glory.

So much has happened and God has done some wonderful things, and showed me how sweet it is to be in his presence. He has truly surprised me and has given me unexpected joy.  So for me, to remember the Prodigal Son reminds me of God’s faithfulness and grace. Sometimes I do forget how far God has brought me and how much I need him, not just for the major moments of life, but day-to-day. How he keeps me going even when I want to give up, how he reminds me that he is the source of my strength, that he is in fact, my portion forever. He would love some one like me and even use me in his kingdom.

Even now, he is still working in my heart and healing the deepest parts of me, the things only he can see and know.

This is just the highlights of a wonderful journey that started when I was a child and now that I am here thinking about my testimony I am amazed all over again that how wonderful he is. How his love keeps and sustains me.

My testimony is of Jesus, his open arms and his voice telling me, “Welcome home, daughter” and how I never want to be apart from him ever again. That’s what I am going to tell my new house group.